Parenting: some lessons learned from motherhood

1. Love - One of the first things you acquire as a mother is the capacity to love truly and selflessly. You learn to love that little life which you brought into being with a passion stronger than anything else within you. And as your children grow and begin to socialize, you learn to love their friends as well. At the end your capacity to love grows to encompass humanity because through the experience of being a mother, you become a better person.

2. Selflessness – Only as a mother do you discover how easy it is to put someone before yourself. Without stopping to think about it you give your child the best. You deny yourself so that your child can have the best, education and the best life. You do not need to consider long and hard whether you would donate a kidney to save his life or rush into a burning building to rescue him.

3. Patience- You acquire virtues like patience, understanding, temperance and tolerance as you go through the day to day struggles of raising a child. You learn to be patient when they are ill and fretful, temperate when, for no apparent reason, they decide to act up, tolerant in the teenage years when they become rebellious and defiant and when their friends’ values seem suddenly more important than those which you have tried to instil over the years and understanding when, on occasion, they act out of character.

4. Strength/Endurance - You amaze yourself at the sacrifices that you so easily make; the late nights that you will work to put the next meal on the table; the challenges which you willing face and how you tackle almost anyone or anything in their defence. You have become their pillar of support.

5. Mentoring - You become a teacher, a mentor and a role model. You are the No. 1 problem solver and the voice of wisdom to unravel all complexity. You are always ready to provide a reason why. Also, you get back into learning as you help with homework and projects for you can’t always tell your children that you “don’t know how”. Also, as their first role model, you have to be the best example that you can be.

6. Nursing - You are the all time nurse, ready to take the day shift and the night shift when they are ill. You learn to spot symptoms and you familiarize yourself with all the home remedies. You become conscious of labels, expiry dates and the like.

7. Pride – You have never been so proud in your life as when you sit in the audience at your child’s graduation ceremony and applaud loudly as they go to the platform to receive their award. You have never been a sports fan, but you now go to all the football games and cheer louder than everyone else because your son is the star of the game. And you are really proud when your little girl comes home to announce that she has been elected President of the Students Council.

8. Empathy – You rejoice in their joys and hurt when they hurt. When they are ill you are absolutely down and even when their friends are in trouble you are low in spirit too. But worst of all, when they go off to college you feel as though a piece of you has been ripped off and you just don’t know how you are going to make it. Finally, when they are all gone and the home is empty, your very life becomes empty.

9. Forgiveness – Although they may hurt you, even break your heart, your mother’s heart will, by and by, forgive them as only a mother can.

10. Relaxation – You do not think about it, but perhaps if it were not for your children you would never take a break to relax and have fun. You have fun taking them on outings and accompanying them to the park. You get to go bike riding and play ball games and you actually have fun watching cartoons and singing children’s songs.

11. Prayer – Above all, you learn to pray; you experience the power of prayer! Now you are constantly calling on God to help your child pass his exam, help him get a scholarship, help him get out of trouble, help him recover from an accident – “Dear Lord please don’t let my baby die”.

12. Life - Motherhood teaches you to truly live